


To Sleep

by cloudyworld



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, slight poe/finn/rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:13:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudyworld/pseuds/cloudyworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aside from Rey, Poe is the strongest person Finn knows. Seeing him in pain hurts Finn, especially when he doesn't know how to help.</p>
<p>(or: Five times Poe’s had nightmares after what happened and the one time he didn’t.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Sleep

Finn wakes up slowly, rather than all at once. He feels numb everywhere, heavy, his throat aching. It’s warm, though, not ice cold and wet. His shoulder burns, and memory comes rushing back to him. Opening his eyes, he sees a high dark ceiling, no snow or trees, the air still around him. He has to be back on D’Qar. Distantly, he hears people walking, droids and machinery buzzing in the distance. He must be safe, then. 

Something shifts the thin sheets of the bed he’s in, and he turns as quick as he can to see a mop of brown hair beside him, hands fisted in the sheets beneath their head. Finn knows he knows this person. They twist again, and Finn sits up, opens his mouth. 

“Poe?” it’s a weak whisper at best, but Poe jumps, eyes flying open to meet Finn’s. 

“Finn! You’re awake!” The frightened expression had disappeared, Poe’s eyes bright with relief. He climbs halfway onto the bed to embrace Finn, laughing gently. Finn’s arms slowly come to circle Poe’s waist, holding as tight as he can manage. Damn, he’s so glad to see him. Poe’s already talking about things he’s missed, and where Rey is, because he knows the ex-stormtrooper so well, and Finn is content to listen, relaxing back into the bed as Poe holds one of his hands, runs his thumb down his palm absent-mindedly as he recalls missions and parties, stopping every few sentences to smile brightly at him. 

Finn wants to ask if Poe’s been here the whole time, but judging by his sleepy smile and the comfortable-looking chair he’s dragged beside the bed, he supposes he already knows the answer. 

-

Sometimes Finn wishes he didn’t wake up so early, but it’s still difficult to fix all the training and conditioning that has him programmed like a computer. He can’t bring himself to lay in bed until he falls asleep again, so he gets up. He gets some exercise (and maybe a little exploring) done before he meets Poe for breakfast. 

He’s already sitting and eating when Poe finally gets there (because he’s stressed the ‘don’t wait for me, you’ll be waiting for a long time’ rule) and Finn looks up to greet him with a smile, but Poe looks drawn, spooked like he’s seen a ghost. The pilot places the food down and sits, staring at it while Finn glances around to find the real Poe, not this weird hollow version. 

“Hey buddy, you okay?” Finn asks, tentative. Poe meets his eyes and sighs, shoulders dropping. 

“Yeah, sorry. I’m not feeling so well.” Finn frowns, trying to recall if Poe ate something bad, or heard some bad news about one of the other pilots. The last time that happened though, he was sad, but mostly reflective, telling Finn about the best mission they went on, or how they used to play pranks on one another. Finn knows this won’t ever really stop, because this is the Resistance and of course people are going to come and go, but he hoped now that First Order’s planet was destroyed, Poe will get to keep more of his friends. 

He secretly hoped he will get to keep Poe, too. 

“Is there anything I can do? Maybe you should go back to bed.” At the mention of bed, Poe’s face goes white. 

“Nah, it’s alright, Finn. I’m not flying today, just doing some maintenance. I’ll be alright.” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Finn smiles back, acquiesces. Without eating any more of his food, Poe stands up, promises to meet him later, and sets off to work. 

Finn worries. 

-

It must be after midnight when Finn hears a crash from the other side of his room, then a short string of curses. He leaps out of bed like it’s on fire, checking Poe’s bed first for the other man, then turning the corner to look into their shared bathroom. Poe is sitting on the floor surrounded by almost everything the tiny room contains, head in his hands. Finn can see he’s shaking. 

“Poe? What happened?” He takes a step closer and Poe lifts a hand, fingers trembling. 

“Don’t. Just leave me alone, Finn.” Poe drops his hand to inspect his other one, and Finn feels ice in his veins. 

“Poe, your arm. You’re bleeding.” Now he’s really worried. 

“Dammit Finn, I know!” He grabs a cloth to press to the cut, sifting through the rest of the stuff on the floor. Finn takes another step.

“Poe, you don’t have to tell me what happened, I just want to help-“ 

“Finn, please.” Poe’s voice cracks, and now Finn can tell he’s been crying. What the hell is going on? “Please just go.” 

Finn takes a deep breath. It doesn’t look like there’s any more immediate danger, and Poe doesn’t look as wild as he did when he first rounded the corner. He doesn’t want to leave him, but he steps back, heel knocking right into BB-8, who rolls past him, beeping in what sounds like alarm. 

“Not you too,” Poe sighs, watching BB-8 retrieve the roll of bandages on the ground, handing them over. He wraps the cut in silence, and Finn steps out of their room. He walks aimlessly, wondering if he should tell anyone. He’s never seen Poe act like that, but maybe he’s always done it. He certainly hasn’t known Poe all that long. Finn tries not to let those thoughts take up too much space, though; it won’t help either of them to question how much he really knows about the pilot.

Returning to the room, Finn peeks in, concerned when he sees the bathroom light still on. Shutting the door behind him, BB-8 beeps just once, and Finn can see Poe’s arm around the droid, slumped over asleep on the bathroom floor. 

“Do you know what’s wrong with him?” he asks the droid, even though he knows he can’t understand anything it says. BB-8 nods, then beeps a couple times, sadly. Finn rolls his eyes with a sigh. Of course. Of course the droid knows. He really should get Poe to teach him to understand the little guy. 

He climbs back into bed reluctantly, not wanting to disturb Poe and potentially upset him more. He dreams about the awful way he looked at Finn, and wakes up with renewed resolve. 

-

“Okay, I know you’re not gonna like this, but you gotta tell me what’s going on. I woke up and found you on the floor, and you were bleeding. The other day, you looked like you hadn’t slept in years. What’s wrong?” Finn gets it all out in a huge breath, terrified Poe would interrupt him and refuse to explain. 

Poe sighs, but smiles a little sadly, too. 

“Guess I owe you an explanation.” Finn was pretty sure Poe had been avoiding him all day. Unfortunately for him, they share a room, so. That plan fails spectacularly once bedtime rolls around. Poe eases back onto his bunk. “Ever since I got interrogated on your old ship, I’ve had nightmares. Whatever that Kylo Ren guy did, it’s stuck with me. It feels like I’m back there sometimes. They don’t happen every night, but when they do it’s…not good.” He looks away, and Finn can tell he’s embarrassed. 

“So last night?” 

“Yeah. Last night was probably the worst yet. I woke up and didn’t know where I was.” He takes a sip of his drink, clearly grateful to break eye contact. “Sorry for scaring you.” 

Finn tells him they’ll figure something out. He’ll ask somebody, anybody really, even the General, and see if they know what to do. This seems to assuage Poe a little, as he thanks Finn and slowly climbs into bed. Finn stays awake for a while longer, and is glad he’s done so, because he’s quick to respond when Poe awakens, screaming like he’s been ripped apart. 

Finn gathers the smaller man in his arms, squeezes him tight, knows this as the only way he’s ever dealt with nightmares of his own. 

-

Finn spends a lot of time researching the force, but nothing exists on it much anymore, especially about what he heard Han refer to as ‘The Dark Side’. He asks around and people’s responses are vague, much like the texts supposedly left over from an order of Jedi. If Luke Skywalker was here, he’d probably know what to do. 

Rey returns late one night with Chewbacca and a hooded figure Finn doesn’t recognize. He steals just a moment of her time, crushing her to his chest in relief, and she kisses his cheek with a promise to see him soon. Finn’s not sure he can sleep after that, but he knows she’ll be busy with debriefs and meetings and he certainly doesn’t want to be rude by waiting around for her. 

Happier than he’s probably ever been in his life, he returns to his room, yelping in surprise as BB-8 flies out of the door, slamming right into him with a frightened array of sounds. It’s like an electric shock shoots through him, with how fast his mood changes when he sees the way BB-8 looks. 

Finn doesn’t have to understand the droid to know what it’s saying this time. 

“Poe!” He ducks as something gets thrown at his head as soon as he enters, the man at the other side of the room ripping through their things, chest heaving. “Poe, it’s me! It’s Finn!” 

“You’re lying!” Poe tips the bed over, clearly terrified, trying to get as far away from Finn as possible. “You’re not him!” Finn jumps back as the frame clatters to the floor. 

“It’s really me, Poe, I promise!” Finn swallows, tries to look nonthreatening, palms out. “Come on, buddy! You saved my life! You gave me this name!” 

“No! Stop it!” he falls to the ground, tears in his eyes as he covers his face, breaths short and harried. “Don’t come any closer.” 

Rey jogs into the room to stand next to Finn, and he feels the energy in the room change. She takes a few steps towards Poe, kneeling in front of him as he recoils. 

“P-please don’t, not again.” His voice is tiny, and Finn aches. Gently, Rey puts her hands to his face and takes a deep breath. 

Poe drops his arms, meets her eyes. 

“I know what he did.” Her voice is soft, but steady. “It’s alright. You’re safe now.” Finn feels all of the tension and fear in his body slowly ebb away. He watches Poe’s face closely, watches as he shudders, recognition filling his expression. 

“Rey.” 

Finn relaxes so much he’s afraid he might fall over. Rey smiles. “Yes.” 

“I am very glad to see you again,” Poe chuckles, voice shot. She drops her hands to hug him tightly. Finn plops down beside them with a tired sigh, and they pull back just enough to include him in their embrace. 

-

“I wish there was more I could have done, I just felt-“ Finn drops his hands, climbs into bed as Poe turns to face him. “I felt useless.” The word feels ugly on his tongue. He should just get over it; the problem’s solved, no need to dwell on it, right?

“You are not useless. You’ve done so much for me already, and now this too?” Poe lifts a hand out from under the covers to gesture to Finn, who’s currently curling in the bunk beside him, wrapping his arm around the pilot’s waist as he puts his head on the pillow. 

“You are much more than I could have ever asked for. I’m still not sure how I got this lucky.” Pressing his hand to Finn’s chest, Poe taps him a few times, laughing. “You sure you’re not just a hologram or something?” 

“Pretty sure,” Finn laughs too, leaning in to press his nose against Poe’s hair, kissing his temple. “Thanks.”

“Mm, you’re welcome,” Poe’s already drifting off, mumbling against Finn’s skin as he tangles their legs together. 

When Poe falls asleep in his arms, he sleeps the whole night. Finn’s not sure if he dreams at all, but as far as he’s concerned, he’s got something better than any dream he’s ever had. 

“Will you quit making those eyes at me and go to sleep please? If I’m gonna teach you how to fly properly, we have to be well-rested,” Poe chides, a sleepy grin on his face. Finn laughs, kisses his nose, and sleeps.

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd and written pretty quickly; let me know if there's glaring mistakes! And as always, my tumblr is forfutureskies if you wanna cry about star wars with me. :')


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